Craptacular should really be a real word. I'm not even kidding.

So yeah, my CP is off to a rocky start, and I'm hoping so hard that it smooths out in the next few weeks or else I'm going to cry.

Aside from the roommate troubles, there are general problems with my Disney employment. They are as follows:

1. From the get-go, I was off to a bad start. At check-in, I was turned away from a parking decal because my name wasn't on the insurance card. Because it's soooo hard to look a)at the last name and b)at the record online/on the phone/whatever. I was supposed to have a three-day grace period in which my parents could fax in a copy of a letter saying I was on the insurance, but security didn't care. Every time I drove in to the complex, I was stared down by the guys at the booth and told that I needed my decal or they wouldn't let me in again.
2. Also at check-in, I was double-booked for my training. I was scheduled for Traditions (the overall Disney training class) and Once Upon A Time...Is Now (the MK orientation class) at the same time because I'm a returning CP and a Disney Store CM. I had to be taken in to a back office twice because she didn't fix it correctly the first time.
3. I went to Downtown Disney to get my Disney Rewards Points Card, which I had heard was a simple process of getting the card at Guest Relations. Yeah, not so much. I've never been rude to someone on the phone for something like that, but I was this time because she was the most unhelpful person ever. I just got the whole thing straightened out earlier TODAY, over a week later.
4. My location orientation trainer sucked. She didn't know who the characters were or what shops I worked in. She actually argued with me when I told her we had missed the store at Snow White's Scary Adventures. For one thing, she told me THE RIDE DIDN'T EXIST and for another thing, she said that if it did exist, there was NO store there. We went back and forth before I said "humor me." and we walked over to OH MY GOD A STORE. She was so focused on gossiping with this other trainer that she totally sucked at showing me what I needed to know.
5. The engine light in my car had been on for a few days, and it was really starting to annoy me because I had tightened the gas cap to make it go away, and it didn't. I had to drive all the way to Altamonte Springs to get it fixed.
   
6. I'm kinda freaking out about the fact that I decorated my walls. I know I used the Command tape and that it doesn't damage walls, but I don't know if Price Management knows that....
7. And then there's my Disney ID. The card that represents my life here at Disney. It's what not only allows me to work here, it also gets me merchandise discounts and free admission. The first two (work and discounts) work fine, but every time I try to enter a park, I get a message saying "Access Denied." So today I thought, "Oh, I'll nip this in the bud and get a new ID at Access Control!" No dice. I got a new id, but when I went to DHS to visit Barkenhagen, I received the "Access Denied" message. Now, I've had the message at both MK and Epcot, and the turnstile people have simply let me in. Not this woman. She brought her coordinator over, and he told me that my card was blocked out and that I wasn't allowed in and that I needed to call Ticketing FROM GUEST RELATIONS! So he LETS ME IN TO THE PARK to go to GR. I confuse the girl there trying to explain what's going on, and she seems more interested in finding the guy who let me in when I wasn't supposed to be in. Eventually, though, she looks up my card on the computer and finds out that it EXPIRED IN OCTOBER OF 2008! WTF?! She looks at me and goes, "Have you done a CP before?" to which I responded "Yes." She goes, "Well then, this must be the date of your last program, and it hasn't been updated." No ma'am. I didn't even go to WDW in '08. She told me to talk to my managers and said that ids usually don't work for a few days, to which I responded that all my friends who received ids on the same day as me were getting in just fine. So now I have a feeling that she thinks I was some sort of con artist. And I'm afraid that my clocking in and out and my use of the merch discount are going to show up negatively on my record because my id is "expired."
   

So there you go. I'm hoping that the good will outweigh the bad eventually. I mean, none of this is stuff that can't be fixed. It's just, ugh, all happening at once--one right after the other. After everything calms down and I settle in to work, it should all pan out easy-peasy.



I hope.

On Roommates

I'm going through training right now, so my schedule is all sorts of wacky. This means that I'm going to sleep super early only to wake up super early, while next week I'll be up late and sleeping late. Because of my schedule (and everyone else's) it is IMPERATIVE that roommates are especially respectful of the others in the apartment late at night. But no. My roommates stay up being rowdy until all hours of the morning when I have to be up at 5am. Whatever. I can deal with that...it'll calm down after a week or two.
The thing that really burns my cheese is that they share a mutual feeling of "everyone can eat my food" because "we all need to eat." No. If I buy food, I'M THE ONE WHO GETS TO EAT IT! I really can't help it if you can't afford food, but don't think I'm going to share my food with you, since I have limited funds, as well. I have a Brita pitcher in the fridge, and I assumed (wrongly, I might add) that no one would touch it because THEY DIDN'T BUY IT! Nope. I just went in to enjoy some refreshing filtered water, and what greets me? A basically empty Brita pitcher in the fridge. The person(s) who helped themselves to my water didn't even have the decency to refill my pitcher. And so I tried to refill my pitcher and couldn't because the sink is full of dishes. I know they aren't my dishes since I don't use them.
We have an inspection coming up, and I think I need to take everything off my walls, lest I cause everyone to fail. The whole "nothing on your walls" rule is RAHTARDED. My room is huge, and I'll be living in it for seven months...and they want to tell me I can't decorate it. Umm, no.

I'm here.

Okay. I suck. I've been here for almost a week now, and I haven't posted anything. Sorry.

I drove down to Orlando on Monday. It rained the entire drive--which sucked. It was horrible. Sometimes it was a mist, sometimes it was pouring. Eventually, though, I got to AllStar Movies to meet Bri and her friend, Zach. Both of them are character performers, which is pretty awesome. We spent Monday afternoon/evening at Downtown Disney. I finally got to eat at T-Rex, and yes, it is as awesome as it seems. We got to sit in the ice cave room, which is crazy because that's the room I was dying to eat in. The room itself changes colors from blue to pink, and when I say pink, I mean it gets so pink that everything takes on a pink hue and you think you're going blind. The food was great, too, which is nice, and the meteor shower is pretty crazy because we were right beside the room with the video ceiling, so we got to watch the actual meteor shower part when the meteors crash into each other and stuff and our room flashed from blue to pink to blue over and over. It was pretty intense.

On Tuesday, Bri and I used our Disney Store comp tickets to get ourselves and Zach in to the parks. It monsooned on Tuesday, but Zach had been nice enough to buy us all super-touristy Mickey ponchos at WalMart. We got to the Magic Kingdom at opening, and the park remained pretty deserted the whole time we were there. We rode everything we wanted to ride within an hour and a half and then met the fairies in Pixie Hollow. Pixie Hollow is really cute, but I felt like the fairies weren't familiar enough with themselves to really hold conversations. It was like "I'm Iridessa, I'm a light fairy. Pose. Picture. Thanks."
Around lunchtime, we hopped on the monorail and went to Epcot. We ate in Mexico, rode Maelstrom, and then did the Kim Possible World Showcase Adventure in Japan. Bri and Zach agree with me that that thing is pretty awesome. Bri and Zach also took some time to meet Jasmine.
At this point, the rain was ridiculous, but we refused to be slowed down. Despite the rain, we jumped on the boat to Disney's Hollywood Studios. We got fastpasses for Rock'n'Rollercoaster for 45 minutes later and headed over to Tower of Terror, which said it had a 30 minute wait. Yeah, we walked right on. We ended up riding it three times in a row and still had time to kill before our fastpasses. Like I said, the parks were deserted. We rode R'nR, and when we exited, there was a family standing outside the exit yelling out that they had fastpasses for Toy Story Mania for later that day that they weren't going to use because they were leaving the park to get out of the rain. So we took them up on their offer. It turned out that the fastpasses were for way later in the day--we went exploring to waste time, and ended up meeting Prince Caspian, who was really, really creepy (in my opinion. Everyone else seems to love him.). We sat down for Voyage of the Little Mermaid, which was fine, as usual, but no on in the theatre appreciated the water effects for when you dive under the ocean. Everyone had gone in to the show to get OUT of the rain, not to get wet. After that, our character fiesta started. We snuck through the back of The Art of Disney to meet the people from Up, and found a character smorgasbord. We met Mary Poppins and a penguin, Pocahontas and Meeko, Gepetto and Pinocchio, Sorceror Mickey, Jafar, Quincy and June from Little Einsteins, and I feel like I'm missing someone. It was crazy. Plus, it was raining really hard, so I looked like craaap.
On Wednesday, we moved in and I found out I'll be working Fantasyland Merchandise.
On Thursday, I had the day off and finished unpacking and decorating my apartment. I also realized that I don't have enough money to get by for a few weeks. So that sucks. I really needed to bring a whole lot more than $200 with me.
Today, I had Traditions and received my ID. I went to MK with Bri, two of her roommates, and two of Zach's roommates. It was a ton of fun, and I finally got some Mickey Class of '09 graduation ears! Yay!
I start my location training tomorrow, and I'm supposed to show up in my costume, which I can't do because my park orientation (which is when you get your costume) isn't until Tuesday. Whatever. I'll figure it out, plus I've been through it once before, and I'm pretty sure tomorrow is all computer-based lessons and stuff again.

Reminiscing.

As the day grows closer, I'm starting to feel really nostalgic for Disney World. I'm remembering the sights and the sounds and the smells and the feelings of Disney World, and, while it sometimes makes me happy and excited, a lot of the time, it makes me sad because of the memories associated with it. I have to make new memories now, and I don't know if I want that. Do the new memories of how a ride smells replace my old memories of the same smell of that same ride? It worries me.

My favorite feeling in all of Walt Disney World (maybe in all of the world) is the warmth you feel as you move toward the drop shaft on Tower of Terror. You've been in the nice, dark, air-conditioned hotel watching the ghosts and the cheesy fifth dimension scene, and your elevator starts moving forward. You can see that star field ahead of you open, and you start to feel the air warming up as you move closer to the Florida heat. When your elevator locks in to place and you can feel the change from the dry, cool air of the hotel and the hot, sticky, humid air of Florida, you know you're in for something amazing.

I was also hit today with remembering the feeling of the cool, wet air of the queue for Pirates of the Caribbean. This one is almost the exact opposite of Tower of Terror. You leave the Florida heat for the cool, sometimes too cold, air of the passages through the fort. This may be Disney theming at its best. There is nothing here to remind you of the bright sun or the hot, hot heat outside. You are fully, really inside an old fort with skeletons and cannons and chess.

And then there's the smell of Disney. When you load on to Pirates or Its a Small World or Gran Fiesta Tour or even Maelstrom, that smell of not-quite stagnant water is overwhelming. A little sour, mostly musty, it's such a specific smell, and if you ever smell something even similar to it, suddenly you're hearing the cannons fire and the Captain shout, "FIRE AT WILL!"
Or what about the lovely, lovely pie smell of Philharmagic? I stand by my statement that if Disney makes a perfume/air freshener/febreze with this scent, I will buy multiples. It's so delicious
And there's the smell of the corrosion chamber on Test Track. "Did you remember to turn off those robots?" No. And thank goodness for that. My dad has a eucalyptus room scent here at home, and every once in a while, I'll catch a good whiff and be transported into that car, leaning to the side to avoid being misted by the crazy robots.
Or the smell of Dinosaur. Yeah, I know it's the same smell as the Indiana Jones Adventure at Disneyland, but I don't have the privilege of having ever ridden that, so I can't make a comment on it. However, I can say that I really, really don't like that smell. It's so...biting is the best word for it. It actually hurts me to smell it. When you step into the loading room after the pre-show and get ready to descend the stairs and the smell really hits you, the smell is so pungent it hurts. I am not a fan.
The smell of Nescafe coffee makes me think of Journey into Imagination with Figment, since Disney felt it smelled bad enough to work as skunt scent.
And the smell of rotting pizza, ranch dressing, salad, and chicken pasta will always make me think of Star Tours and the Muppets because I had to walk past the Pizza Planet/Mama Melrose dumpster to get to work. That. Thing. Reeked.
And there are smells other people would put here: the burning wood from Spaceship Earth, the chilidog burp from Stitch's Great Escape, the overpowering scent of incense or whatever it is at the Polynesian Resort that gave me a headache and makes me never want to go back there.

I suppose I shouldn't be too worried. When I moved in for my first Program, I had been to WDW as a kid, but I didn't remember much. One of the few things I remembered was Maelstrom, the ride in Norway. I didn't remember that there were polar bears in it, though. All I remembered were the trolls. I remembered the troll yelling, "Over the falls! Over the falls!" and now, every time I ride Maelstrom, I have this feeling that we are, in fact, going to go backwards over the falls. Because that's the feeling I had as a kid. I have new memories of Maelstrom now, though, but they didn't replace the old ones. It's like lasagna. There are layers of history, but once you cut into them, they all end up coming together and mixing together. Seriously, have you ever had a thing of lasagna stay in its layers? Because I sure haven't. I could have gone with rocks or parfait, but those usually stay in their layers and you only see one layer at a time. Trust me, it makes perfect sense in my head.

Seriously? Four days?

I've been sleeping horribly lately just because of the number of things on my mind. Well, maybe not the number of things, but the volume of the few things about which I have to worry.

1. Packing.
   Stupid packing is driving me crazy. I'm at the point now where I'm going to throw whatever is left into a bag and leave it behind with the rest of my "stuff to keep". Really, though, I think most of what I'm looking at is trash, and as soon as I get that out of my room, it'll be fine. Then I have to worry about how all the stuff I am taking will fit into my car. I'm bringing way more stuff this time than I did last time, including bulky things like a printer, a giant buzz lightyear statue, and a television.


2. Moving.
   The packing thing is bad enough--trying to figure out what I want to keep, what I want to get rid of, and what I want to take to Florida. On top of that, I have to think about how I'm supposed to be moving to FL permanently after this, so I have to worry about money and finding a place to live and getting a full-time, non-CP job.


3. The Apartment Itself
   I really do lose sleep over this. I hate strangers, so the idea of living with people whom I have never met freaks me out. I know, I've done it once before, and it was no big deal--but what if this time I get crazy partiers who ruin my future for me? I can't deal with that. If someone thinks it's okay to bring alcohol into my apartment, they ruin the program for everyone. It's such a selfish thing to do, bringing alcohol in to a Wellness apartment when you know it will get everyone kicked out. Ugh.


4. Money
   I mentioned this earlier: I have to figure out the money situation. Last time I did the program, my parents paid for my food and gasoline, so all of my money could go towards non-necessities at Property Control. I have to budget myself this time, which I'm not really looking forward to. This whole "being an adult" thing sucks. I'm totally kidding. I filled up my gas tank, like, a total of once a month last time, and I hardly eat anything. The problem is that you end up eating out A LOT, whether it be at the parks or at Crossroads. I guess I'll become friends with leftovers. Ugh. Aside from food and gas, the only big expense should come from the Universal Studios pass, which I'm not going to be purchasing until, like September. Plus, hopefully, this time I won't be sick, so I'll have more hours. More hours = more money. I'll just have to watch my money and not buy everything I see at Property Control and wait until the Holiday Celebration to buy most of my stuff.

So that's that. I'm not even kidding about throwing everything that's left into a bag and leaving it behind. Or I'll just leave it all where it is.

Countdown: less than a week

Ugh. I fail at life. I haven't updated in a week or so, and for that, I am sorry. Instead of the best/worst of Universal Studios: Florida, like I had planned to write, I am going to write a regular, normal blog. You're welcome.

So I graduated college last weekend (the weekend that was a week ago, not the weekend that ended two days ago--I would have said "this past weekend" were that the case). Magna cum laude. Honors graduate. Lamda Pi Eta honor society. I'm a friggin genius, I know. Almost immediately after I finished up with the graduation thing, I started packing my entire life. See, my parents are treating this as me moving out permanently, so my entire room has to be packed up. I'm taking down to the CP what I'll need/want for the next 7 months to a year (if I extend), and I'm boxing up what I don't want during the CP but I may want later (mostly this consists of collectibles and heavy coats and stuff). It's been pretty annoying, seeing as how I own a LOT of figurines and action figures and things like that, and I don't particularly want to take all of them to the CP. Plus, I have to figure out what I'll wear during the next 7 months and what I won't wear during the next 7 months but will wear in the future. Basically, it ended up being "Either wear it in the next 7 months or get rid of it."

I have no idea how I'm going to get all of my stuff to Disney. I have five of those plastic boxes plus all manner of smaller plastic storage containers plus some cardboard boxes (small-ish) plus a suitcase or two. My car is large, but it ain't that big.

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Today, I finished up packing everything except for what I'll need for the next week and my figurines. I then went to the bank to deposit my tax return (whoa, a whole $149...I'm rich! or not.), to blockbuster to buy Iron Man wall decals (which were on super clearance, by the way, for $2.99 instead of the $4.99 I was expecting), to the dollar store to buy tissue paper to pack up all of those action figures/figurines (there are a lot of them), and then to Publix for bread and toothpaste (yeah, I ran out of both).

Here's how you know you're having an awesome day: you go to Publix to get bread and toothpaste and come out with bread, toothpaste, juicy juice, chocolate chip cookies, and a poster for your apartment. See, I grabbed an issue of Twist for Autumn, my roommate, because it has a small David Henrie poster (see how I made that sound like the David Henrie love is ENTIRELY you, Autumn?). Yes, there's nothing that makes me feel quite as creepy and insecure as standing in Publix, thumbing through all of those teen celebrity magazines (BOP, Tiger Beat, Twist, etc). So I got in my car feeling pretty satisfied with myself for finding a poster of Mr. Henrie and purchasing my Iron Man stickers, when what comes on the radio: QUAD CITY DJ'S Come On Ride It (the Train). That's happiness right there: blasting and singing along to Quad City DJs after making some awesome purchases. If I was driving my mom's Miata, you can bet I would have looked like Corky Romano singing along with Take On Me.



Okay, that's all. Basically, I wrote this entire thing for the Corky Romano reference because I totally felt like him while I was dancing and singing.

Countdown: 10 days

HOLY CRAP! Are you kidding me? 10 days?! Wow.

Anyways, onto your regularly scheduled programming. First off, sorry about the lack of a post yesterday. I was too bored all day to do anything. You know how that goes, right? You just don't have the energy to do anything.

Today's list: the best and worst of the Walt Disney World (park) attractions overall. Side note: Brother Bear just started on Disney Channel. I haven't seen this movie since it first came out.

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The Best and Worst of the Walt Disney World Resort Parks

Bottom 5 Overall Attractions



5. Shows (including LMA, Voyage of the Little Mermaid, etc.)
Yeah, I really have no interest in sitting down and watching shows at Disney World, be they stunt, musical, or otherwise.


4. Parades
Like shows, I don't go to Disney World to stand around and watch a show. Plus, there's always someone trying to shoulder his/her way in front of you. Or kids being pushed in front of you by their parents who decided to show up to the parade as it starts instead of at least 30 minutes before.


3. Fireworks/Nighttime Spectaculars
I hate fireworks. Always have, always will. It's way too much of a sensory overload for me.


2. Peter Pan's Flight
If you look closely in the picture, you can see that the wait time is 90 minutes. 90 MINUTES?! For whatever reason, this ride always has the longest line in all of WDW property. And there's nothing particularly spectacular about it. It's pretty terrible, actually. The AAs are rudimentary and the blacklight effect is pretty old and annoying since Disney used it in all of their rides. If someone could explain to me why this ride is so awesome, that would be, well...awesome.


1. Soarin'
Everything about this ride is terrible (except for the pre-show with Patrick Warburton). If I wanted to stand in line for two hours to sit on a park bench and watch a movie, I would not ALSO pay hundreds, nay, THOUSANDS of dollars to do it. Also, those smells everyone talks about: sniff an orange pledge wipe and you'll get the same sensation.

The Countdown is ON!

Countdown update:
15 days 'til I check in at Vista Way!

In other awesome news, my Disney Store coworker and great ol' buddy, Bri, has booked us a room at All Star Movies for May 18th through May 20th. This way, we'll travel down on the 18th, check in to our room, explore a bit (Downtown Disney, parks, who knows?!), sleep, and then spend the 19th in the parks thanks to our Disney Store Cast Member Comp Tickets! It's a good thing Disney Transportation exists since I really don't want to drive my car around to the parks with it filled with stuff. We'll probably unload most of our stuff (see: things that can't survive in the heat) into our room. So now I'm extra excited since I've never stayed at an All Star Resort!

As far as my packing fiesta goes, I've cleaned out my closet and my clothes drawers already, I've emptied the drawers under my bed, and I've taken down all the stuff from my walls. All that's left are action figures, books, and then my computer/desk stuff. See, my parents are treating this as me leaving for good, so as I'm packing, I have to sort everything in to "Take to Disney" "Keep but Don't Take to Disney" and "Get Rid Of". So far, most stuff is falling in to the "Get Rid Of" category because, the way I see it, if I'm not going to use it in the next 7 months, I probably won't use it/wear it ever. The clothes I'm leaving are, like, jackets and sentimental things. I have found that I'm packing much more than I did last time for Disney, but, then, last time, I didn't pack enough and ended up buying a bunch of clothes. I'm coming prepared this time, since I won't have any money other than what I make at work.

I completed my pre-move shopping today, which is great. I now have a new quilt, new sheets (my current comforter is too warm for Florida, and I just needed new sheets), storage-y type things, and some fun accoutrements for the apartment. I still need a storage solution for my DVD collection and my Wii games, but I think I'll just use the bottom drawer of the chest-of-drawers in the room seeing as how last time I just used it as a junk drawer.

My tax return still hasn't come in the mail, and I've used up my graduation money buying things for the move (clothes, comforter, blah blah blah. The only *really* frivolous thing was Disney DDR, and it was totally worth it). So, yeah, I really need that refund before I leave so that I can, you know, buy food and stuff.

If anyone knows of a good way to store Post-Its, let me know...I think they're breeding in my room, and they're getting a bit out of hand.

The Countdown is Down to Two Weeks!

So I realize I've been slacking on my blog duties. I'm ever so sorry! Now that graduation is out of the way and packing is very much under the way (see what I did there?), I shall try to blog everyday. I even wrote it down in my journal. The one I described as being "abstract" in my last post. You'd understand what I mean if you saw it.

Anyways, today's (err...tonight's) post is the fourth and final in the "best/worst rides/attractions" series. We will be covering the most recent Walt Disney World Resort Park: Disney's Animal Kingdom. Off we go!

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Disney's Animal Kingdom!

The Bottom 5 Things* at Disney's Animal Kingdom
*there aren't enough rides/shows here for me to come up with 10. Sorry.

5. The Discovery River Boat Cruise.
Yeah. I know, "not fair!" right? The ride technically doesn't exist anymore, but it did at one point, and the characters still ride on it. Seriously, though, what was the thinking behind this one? "I know! We'll have a boat that floats around the entire park!" "Oh yeah? Will people be able to embark and disembark in Asia, Africa, Dinoland USA, and the rest of the sections of the park?" "No! It'll just make a circle! There's no point to it at all! It's like Seinfeld in ride-form: IT'S A RIDE ABOUT NOTHING!" "Well, we need something to spice it up...how about a dragon?" "Yeah, okay, we'll carve a cave that kinda-sorta looks like a dragon and then shoot fire out of it...you know, to get people excited about the Beastly Kingdome land!" "Yeah, about that..." Seriously, Disney, stupidest ride ever...and trying to "jazz it up" with Radio Disney music didn't help at all. The best part about this ride (and the reason I'm mentioning it) was that episode of Sabrina when they all went to Animal Kingdom and went on the boats, got off and exclaimed that it was "so exciting!" and that they had screamed in terror! The only terror felt on these boats was the feeling of never getting off. Ever.

4. The whole of "Discovery Island"/The Tree of Life
I must be missing something here. I've been told that there are "tons!" of animals to see here and that it's all scenic and beautiful. I've seen a few, mostly of the avian variety. Why don't they just call Discovery Island what it really is: the entrance. And as far as that tree goes, yeah, it's great and all, but there is NO way to see it close enough to find all the fun animals. Plus, I have to stand in line to see ITtBaB to see the only available close-up part of it, which I do NOT want to do (see: number 1 on this list). I feel like it's such a waste to put it out there and then make us all squint from the surrounding lands to see the animals. At least give us A) a fun sheet that shows us what animals are where and B) those tourist-y telescope things they have at, like, the beach and at the top of tall buildings. You know, the ones that you put a quarter in?

3. Rafiki's Planet Watch/Conservation Station/the train ride.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that they have a place where we can learn about conservation and about how the animal keepers care for the animals. My main problem is that stupid train. My mom thought it was an actual train ride or something, and I had to explain to her that it was just the only way to get to Rafiki's Planet Watch. I love how there was some after-thought here in the form of "What can we give them to do on the train? Oh, I know, let's cut out a side of the train and show them where the animals sleep/are cared for!" except all you really see is the back of a bunch of buildings, no animals, and trucks driving around.

2. Kilimanjaro Safari.
Sorry. Hate it. It's super-boring, and now that they've changed the story-line from the first time I went, it's not fun anymore. This is one of those rides where they give you a lot of necessary set-up in the queue, but no one pays attention (see also: The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman at IoA, Dr. Doom's Fearfall at IoA). If you aren't watching that man on the TV or listening to your driver, the ride makes NO sense. Seriously, people, it's not just a way to look at animals...there is a plot there, too.

1. It's Tough to be a Bug.
Oh god. I have hated this thing since it first opened. I went to see this show during Animal Kingdom's first year or two and have had a deep, deep hatred of it ever since. See, what happened was my grandparents had taken my brother and I to see Honey, I Shrunk the Audience! at Epcot the day before and had known about the hoses under the seat. Thinking they were being hilarious, they aimed their hoses at us for extra mouse effect. My brother and I were not amused. So, naturally, we thought the effects for ITtbaB would come from under the seat. Boy, were we mistaken. In our attempts to avoid the hoses we assumed were under the seat, we sat sideways on the seat with our arms wrapped around our knees. Now, I spent the whole show with my eyes closed because I hate things jumping out at me in the dark (no, scratch that...I hate things jumping out at me, PERIOD). That scene where the bees come out, we were sure the hose would come from under the seat and blast air on us to feel like bees. We cowered back against the back rest as hard as we could when suddenly THE BACK OF THE SEAT ATTACKED US! I'm pretty sure I had bruises on my arm from that thing. I spent the rest of the show standing up with my eyes closed. I went back to see this with my parents this past March and sat forward in the seat so I didn't have to feel those bees again. Ugh.

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The Top 5 Things at Disney's Animal Kingdom

5. The Shows
On the whole, I'm not a show-going person, but since I couldn't come up with 5 things I like about Animal Kingdom and I don't absolutely hate the shows here, I figured I'd include them. You're welcome.

4. Kali River Rapids
It's short and pretty dumb, but, like the shows, I couldn't come up with 5 things and I don't hate it.

3. Primeval Whirl
Three words describe this: fun, fun, fun. I love every bit of this crazy mouse coaster.

2. Dinosaur/Countdown to Extinction
Dinosaur is AWESOME. I'm not even kidding. I especially enjoy the picture faces everyone makes, and I'm proud of myself for being able to not scream/cringe/make a stupid scared face in the pictures anymore. Mostly, I just look annoyed these days because MAN that Carnotaurus is loud. I don't think people would be as scared if the thing wasn't so loud and bright with the flashing light...Disney loves a sensory overload, though. This one gets extra points, too, for the delicious smell and for the narrator/pre-show. I try to work lines from the pre-show in to everyday conversation. For example: "Flash photography, I wouldn't. It messes with the homing signal and that's. not. good." or "THEY'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT! THEY'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!" love it.

1. Expedition: Everest.
This one is tied up there with Tower of Terror for my favorite ride in all of Disney property/ever. It does lose a couple of points because of the broken yeti. My mom had no idea the yeti was even there when she went on it in March since it was in whatever mode throws a strobelight on it. These days, if you don't know it's there and you aren't looking in the general area, you just assume the strobe light is your picture being taken. I was like "Hey, mom! Didn't you love the yeti?" and she goes, "What yeti? The shadow we saw before we went down the hill?" "No, the one at the end in the cave." "There wasn't a yeti there." "Yeah, there was." Other than that, the ride is a solid roller coaster. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

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So I'm thinking that tomorrow's blog will be an overall Best/Worst of Disney and then after that, the food, and then I'll move on to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure.