The Countdown Continues. Part 2.

So I definitely didn't post yesterday. Whoopsie. TWO posts today, then.

Magic Kingdom Attractions

The BEST attractions at the Magic Kingdom

2. The Monster's Inc. Laugh Floor
There's a lot of hate out there for MILF (yeah, that's the abbreviation. hehe.), and I don't understand why. I've never had a show where I didn't laugh. The audience "participation" is awesome. I love the re-telling of the Monster's Inc. story because the guy that plays Randall always does something wacky and Boo is always the most adorable kid in the park. I also love the mind-reading bit because I once saw it, and when they went to the woman she went "Que?" And had no idea what to do. It was so awkward. And I've always wanted to be "That Guy." In the beginning, they used to reference "That Guy" a whole lot. They seem to have lessened the "That Guy" comments. I bet they had complaints.

1. Philharmagic.
The best and most awesome attraction at the Magic Kingdom. Sure, it's your basic 4-d Disney attraction, but this one trumps all the other because of the delicious pie smell. Oh man, that scent is amazing. I know I've held my arms to the vent so I could smell that aroma all day long on my skin. Even while I'm driving in my car, if I hear "Be Our Guest," I expect to hear the whirring sound of the scent sprayers and smell fresh baked pie coming out of my air vent. Mmmm. They should sell perfume, candles, and/or air fresheners in the Philharmagic gift shop. People would buy it by the case. Or, at least, I would.


The WORST Attractions at the Magic Kingdom

5. The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management.
What IS this? Remember the catchy Tiki Room song? In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room? Yeah, forget that. Now you get to sit in the Tiki Room and listen to Gilbert Godfried yell at you. And then everyone sings Conga. Because nothing says Disney or Polynesia like Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine. And they sing Hot Hot Hot. Buster Poindexter is not more Polynesian than Ms Estefan. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

4. The Hall of Presidents
It's nice for a nap/to get out of the heat/to tell your teacher you "learned stuff" during your trip to Disney World. I hear there's a type of person who actually enjoys history and learning about the Presidents. Too bad this isn't their list. Boooooring. Heck, even some of the presidents nod off during the show.

3. Any parades/fireworks
Pointless.

2. Stich's Great Escape.
Here's a waste of space. I just came up with a terrible line: The only thing it's great at is making the Guests want to escape! KAZAAAM! I'm convinced the only purpose of the shoulder harnesses is to keep Guests from walking out. Plus, if you have weak shoulders, you will shortly suffer broken shoulders. The only way to survive this attraction is to sit up ridiculously straight at the beginning when the harness comes down and then slouch for the rest of the show. The burp isn't all that bad, but I'm tired of all of Disney rides/shows squirting me with water. I don't enjoy it.

1. The Country Bear Jamboree.
I'm sure this was awesome in 1971. In fact, I'm positive. I just took my mom to the Magic Kingdom, and she wanted to see the Jamboree and see how they've changed it. She, apparently, loved it as a kid...so much so that she had the record with the songs on it. After watching it, she looks at me and goes, "They haven't updated this at all in 40 years. They haven't even replaced the fur." Dear Disney Imagineers, update the music, update the AAs. Seriously.

The Countdown is On. Part 1

Blog coming later tonight. Sorry I didn't post yesterday--was sick with pinkeye :-(

So, I definitely didn't post last night. Oops. Sorry about that. My eyeballs start hurting after a little while on the computer.

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The Countdown Is On. Part 1 of an Ongoing Series.

In preparation for the CP, I am writing a series about my favorite and least favorite things at the Walt Disney World Resort. It will be broken down into the parks, then into rides, shows, restaurants, etc.

Today, we start with the Magic Kingdom because it is the park with which everyone is most familiar.

Aurora's Top 5 Rides* at the Magic Kingdom

5. Splash Mountain.
Many people would put this at the top of their respective lists, but it's at the bottom of my top five. The ride is certainly enjoyable, but I feel like they tried too hard to tell the Br'er Rabbit story and completely missed. You have to ride numerous times to actually *get* what's going on. "Why are we in this cave with bees in it?" "Ohhhhh, I'm supposed to be plunging into the briar patch!" You switch roles between observer of the story to actually being Br'er Rabbit. Worst part of the ride? The freakin water cannons at the top of the briar patch. You've begun your ride, and you circle around the top of the briar patch, eagerly craning your neck to watch the boats go down the fall. Suddenly you find yourself being shot in the face with gallon upon gallon of water. NOT COOL! You get more wet from those stupid cannons than from the actual drop. It sucks for me, especially, because I'm often the person to load last, which puts me on the cannon side. Or I ride with a jerk who ducks without telling me about the cannons. Other bad points about Splash: if you're going to thumb your nose at the public for the response to Song of the South by installing what is basically a Song of the South ride, at least include Uncle Remus, as it IS his story. None of this Br'er Toad/Frog business.

4. Space Mountain.
I'd put Space higher on my list, but it's going down for refurbishment while I'm down there, so it loses points for not being open. Also, I'm pretty sure it's possible to get whiplash from the current ride. Points are given, however, for the time I rode and my friend behind me was suddenly hit with the need to, ahem, urinate. The entire ride was spent listening to him yell how badly he had to use the restroom. Hilarious.

3. Jungle Cruise/Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin
This one is a tie. The Jungle Cruise is on here only because I would love to be a skipper. It's my kind of dry humor. Needs to be updated, though. Also, skippers should be hired through Entertainment, not Attractions. Buzz is on here because I love anything to do with Buzz. Also, I consistently beat the people with whom I ride. However, I definitely think they could do better with the ride itself (different colored lasers, for example, so you know which one is yours. It wouldn't be that hard to ensure that no one in the room had the same color as you, since only so many cars can fit in a room).

2. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.
I have no idea if that is the actual name of the ride or not. I just like the Heffalumps and Woozles scene because I had this tape when I was a kid that had that song on it. I used to sing that song ALL the time, even though I had no idea where it was from. Also, I like the effect when you enter the flooded room and your honeypot feels like it's floating.

1. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.
8 words explain my love for this coaster. "This here's the wildest ride in the willllderness!" Sitting by yourself on this ride could be a potentially bad idea. If you're my size, you'd better have buns of steel--you have to grip that seat to prevent falling out. I love the visuals as you ride...especially (of course) the dinosaur. Could be in my top rides of the Walt Disney World Resort. We'll see.


Aurora's Bottom 5 Rides* at the Magic Kingdom

5. Pirates of the Caribbean.
I don't understand what the story is supposed to be here. I've heard lots of theories, but with the addition of Jack, none of them make sense. And the whole "Jack is looking for the treasure map" makes NO sense with some of the scenes. Also, the use of flash photography on this ride has gotten out of hand. They may as well add a strobe light effect to the entire thing. Ugh. I just don't get it. And I don't understand the love for it, either.

4. Snow White's Scary Adventures
Look, the first time I rode it, I expected something scary, so I was ready to jump at any minute. Boy, was I disappointed. Also, does Disney hold stock in blacklight-responsive paint? Between this ride and Peter Pan, I know just how many soap spots are on my clothes and how white my new shoes are. I suppose it would help if I actually liked Snow White. Hey, speaking of Peter Pan...

3. Peter Pan's Flight
Here's another one I don't understand. It consistenly has the longest line in all of Disney World property (yes, longer than Soarin' or TSM). The ride, frankly, sucks. I really don't know what the big deal is.

2. The Haunted Mansion
Like Snow White, the first time I rode this (during my first CP), I expected scary things. It wasn't scary, and it wasn't "scary funny" as so many people like to call it. It was like riding through an episode of Scooby Doo (which, by the way, has similar rides). Like so many other rides, they need to choose a story and stick with it. A lot of people have died here, apparently while having a party. The people who dress worse than the party people do get to have their own party in the graveyard. Also, the rooms are alive, and there's a funeral being held, too. Oh, and there are ghosts on the stairs. Did we mention the murderous woman in the attic who enjoys beheading her multiple husbands? Seriously, Disney, what's the point here? Like Pirates, the scenes have nothing to do with the ones that came before or the ones that come after. And that annoys me.

1. Astro Orbiter
A lot of people hate this one for the height. I have no problem with heights. I hate this one because of the hassle. I have to stand in line to ride an elevator to the top. There might be three in my party, but we're three adults who require three SEPARATE rockets. Do not try to make me squeeze in with another full grown person. Also, I'm always on the elevator with the worst people in the world.


So there you have it. My best and worst rides* of the Magic Kingdom park. Yes, some of the opinions are based on stupid things, but it's my blog and I can say what I want.

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*rides means things that move. While Stitch's Great Escape may have a shoulder harness, it does not move, so it will be considered a show