8 is far too many.

I'll get back on the lists after I'm done with school FOREVER on Tuesday (well, technically, this IS a list, but you know what I mean)

I thought I'd share a fun quirk about myself with you guys. I have multiple MULTIPLE calendars and planners. I need, like, planner/journal/calendar rehab. Here they are:

1. Indiana Jones weekly planner. Got this one at the beginning of the year when the calendar store was closing and all the stuff was, like 75% off. This is my main, day-to-day, where I put my assignments planner. Consider this a "to-do" planner.

2. Jonas Brothers Wall Calendar. I got this back when Rylee and I were hoping to be roommates and were going to decorate our room with everything Jonas. Two things happened: one, Rylee didn't get accepted, and two, the calendar SUCKS. It's one of those ones with a HUGE picture and then a list of the dates. There's no place to write anything. I don't understand how this calendar is supposed to work, since you can't put down events or anything. Plus, it's black, so the only thing you can write on it with are special pens/markers that write on black. Dumb.

3. Depressions Wall Calendar. In case you didn't know, the last of the calendars are currently at Wal-Mart for 25 cents to $2. This calendar, unlike the JoBros one, is set up like a normal calendar with the squares for each date. Plus, the pictures make me laugh: "Get to work: You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams." This will be my primary wall calendar at Disney, as I can write down my work schedule and have it handy in the apartment.

4. This blog. I'm hoping to use this semi-daily to keep you guys updated on what I'm doing through the use of pictures and blogs. Hoping is the key word, here. Last time I did the CP, I said the same thing and only updated, like, twice.

5. My dry-erase calendar. I like this one because it's big, magnetic, has a space for notes, and has a cork-board bottom. I'm not sure how I'll utilize this one in a different way than the Depressions Calendar...maybe we'll put this one in the living room for cleaning schedules or something. Also, it loses points because I can't write down events in the future.

6. My TWO moleskine knock-offs from Wal-Mart. Truthfully, only one of these was purchased for Disney. The other was purchased to record my internship, but that didn't take up the whole book. The way I'm going to use these is this: one will be a journal and the other a record of day-to-day events. For example, in the journal, I will put my thoughts, feelings, and reactions; in the day-to-day events one, I will put things like shopping lists, quotes, stickers, and my work schedule (this one is basically the same as the Indy one, except more abstract in its use).

7. My Harry Potter journal. This is more of a personal diary. The two in number six are more Disney-related. This one is personal feelings and things. It's more serious than the others, and is written in less often. Only when I'm feeling really, really emotional does this one receive any attention.

So there you have it: basically, there are three wall calendars and four written journals/planners.

See, the reason I have so many journals/planners is because last CP, I called my parents every day to tell them all the crap and stuff I was putting up with: angry guests, crap schedule, managers who were mean to me, crazy roommate drama. It drove my parents crazy to the point where they didn't want me to call. I figure if I write down everything that goes on good AND bad, I'll be less prone to call them about everything. Eventually, I hope to get into doodling and sketching to go along with my entries in the day-to-day. It'll be terrible, though.

Update

There seems to be some confusion going on here. I changed my settings so that only one entry is displayed at a time because they are so long. All you have to do to read earlier ones is click "Older Posts" at the end of the page. Or you can use the "The Past" archive on the left to access old posts.

In other news: today sucked. I had my graduation exit interview and the Leadership Conference. My interview was horrible and only makes me want to go to Disney more. Only a few days left!

Fun fact.

So I'm going to try to update this daily from now on, even though I know I'll fail at this goal miserably. Oh well.

First off: I don't think I wrote a whole blog about this yet, just a sad statement. Rylee, the girl I was going to room with, didn't get accepted into the CP. It's probably because she left her first CP to go be an au pair in France...I know it's not because of her work ethic or whatever, because *someone* who got kicked out of our apartment during the last CP got herself accepted for Fall. Whatever. It's dumb. So now all of those awesome plans Rylee and I had will never come to fruition. And it's sad. We had videos planned and fun things for our apartment planned (like decorating our room completely with the Jonas Brothers), and now none of those things will ever happen. It's very depressing since we've been planning to be roommates for MONTHS now. I even made her a stuffed penguin, which I will now have to mail to her. Sad.

Second thing: I found a new roommate! Her name is Autumn, and we get along pretty well online, so hopefully she won't try to murder me in my sleep or be some crazy person in real life. So, umm...*fingers crossed*. lol, I'm just kidding. Autumn's pretty swell. Our birthdays are TWO days apart. I'm, like, exactly 48 hours older than her. That's cool, right? We'll celebrate our birthdays together!

Third thing: I had to leave the Facebook CP group because it got really really annoying. Mostly it's because of one person who thinks she knows everything, but she really doesn't. Like, I kept telling everyone that if you use the roommate matching, you don't get to choose your apartment size or complex, and she kept telling everyone I was wrong. Well, wouldn't you know it, I WAS RIGHT. Because, you know, that's what happened to me. I keep seeing her telling people all this stuff about "stand in line with the people you want to be in an apartment with!" It doesn't matter with whom you're standing in line--if you already chose a roommate, the program already assigned you an apartment. I'm not kidding. You can ask, but they'll tell you the only way to choose is to leave your roommate.

Fourth thing: I have pink eye. Possibly in both eyes. It sucks.

Blog. Because videos are lonely if you do them in your bedroom by yourself.

This will really have very little to do with Disney. It's just something I feel like talking about.

So last night I was up the entire night (well, that's actually a lie--I laid down for an hour from 4am to 5am) attempting to write a paper for my advertising class. It was only a five-page paper, and it's not like I've never written anything longer (try 3x+ longer), but I just couldn't find any sort of motivation to write it. I spent all day yesterday, all day Sunday, and the part of Saturday that I was home working on it. As of 5am this morning, I only had two sentences written.
It's not like I hadn't done research or prepared. I had outlines and post-its and all sorts of stuff in preparation for the paper. I just couldn't write it. And therein lies my blog.

As a kid (elementary, middle school), I loved writing. It was my favorite thing ever--especially creative writing. I once wrote an awesome story about a leprechaun when I was in, like, second grade or something. If I find it, I'll transcribe it here. I wrote another great story about squirrels on a quest to save a dying friend...that one was in High School. Heck, I even occasionally got in to my research papers. Especially if it was something in which I was interested.

That has changed over the past four years, though.

I started college willing to write papers and research. And I did. And I wrote them well. However, as the years dragged on, I very quickly grew tired of writing. To be fair, at first it wasn't so much the writing, but the constraints. I don't understand length requirements. If I can say in two and a half pages what someone else needs 6 pages to write, I think I'm the better writer because I'm concise and will hold a reader's attention. I'm wrong though. Quantity over quality. I could write the best papers ever (and I have *toot toot*) complete with amazing commentary about how perfect my paper is, but I will not get a perfect score because I wrote three pages when the professor wanted 5--EVEN THOUGH I covered everything and analyzed it all and, apparently, wrote it fantastically.

Now, though, I'm past the frustration with constraints; I'm simply burned out. You can only require someone so many times to write about things for which they do not care. Yes, I know that the big joke is that college is one big paper, but COME ON. I've written hundreds of pages over the past four years. I think by this point we have established who can write and who can not. No one is going to, in the next 8 weeks, suddenly figure out how to form a coherent sentence if they do not already know how.

So that is why I ended up writing a five-page paper (yes, I finally made a length requirement!) at five this morning. I have absolutely no motivation to write because I know I can write, my professors know I can write, and I'm just sick and tired of writing. I've burned out on writing, and I've burned out on school.

I used to be the kid who loved school, who couldn't wait to learn new things. It turns out you stop learning new things in 8th grade, and you just continuously re-learn what you've already sat through year after year. Sure, you go more in-depth, but that's really unnecessary. That's why I have avoided science classes all through college (save for Astronomy). I'm fascinated by things like magnets and planets and chemistry, but I have no desire to learn the math behind them and then beat them into the ground. I'd much rather know that there's a north pole and a south pole and that opposites attract, that planets are in space and are fun to color, and that if you mix things together, you can sometimes get other, cooler things.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life because school has made me resent everything in which I could have ever had any interest. I have no desire to be a videographer or a script writer or a journalist. I don't want to sit in front of a computer and draw all day because I have to. I want to film or write or draw because I want to. I guess, though, that being a grown up is about "have to"s and not "want to"s. I don't know that I AM an adult, yet, though. Sure, I'll have graduated college, but I still won't be able to buy "adult" beverages, and since that seems to be the thing by which everyone measures adulthood, I still have a few months after graduation before I turn into an adult much like a carriage turns into a pumpkin.

*and I swear to you, anyone who picks this apart because I talked about writing will only annoy me further. I wrote this like I speak, and I like to add unnecessary commas to signal pauses and modifiers in the wrong places in a sentence because that's how I would say it out loud.